Why do we often torture ourselves with overanalysis? Why do we have to have a repetitive stream of consciousness that keeps bringing up the series of things we cannot resolve?
I had a problem having to do with my health and I needed to make a decision. First I was wrought with denial. "Oh no, I can heal myself." The more I worked on it, the more I had to deal with pain.
Then I started to gather information to make a decision. "What questions do I need answered? What if I did not like the answers I got? Who else should I ask? Who can I talk to?"
I packed my data in a bladder bag of overwrought anxiety and nerves. It sat and trembled. Bit by bit, I pulled information out and laid them down like pieces of an almost impossible jigsaw puzzle.
Eureka!! The answer was so clear, so logical, and so singular on what I could possibly do. I made up my mind. I talked to significant people and related my decision. Some took my decision with acceptance, others with tears, and still others with a sense of frustration. It is done. My decision is made. I feel liberated.
Here is the postscript regarding my knee issue. The first orthopedic surgeon said I needed a double knee replacement surgery. So I did research on my leave options and finally made the decision to resign from my job and retire again since a double knee replacement would take about six months between surgeries.
ReplyDeleteI decided to get a second opinion and found out that we will try an arthoscopy on my sore knee and see if it buys some time before the knee surgeries since I have moderate arthritis and no evidence of bone on bone damage.