Stress is Relative

Now that my children are grown up with families of their own, I marvel at the lifestyle we lead during their growing years.  Both of us working full time, clearing land for our Volcano house, taking the kids to softball, soccer, swimming, school events while taking care of the home front.

I think we could have described our lives as busy but not necessarily stressed.  It was just what we did.  Every night, we had dinner together at the kitchen table. Kids took their plates to the sink when they finished eating and  after dinner, the responsibilities were understood: put the food away (if there were any leftovers), wash the dishes, wipe the table. Every Saturday morning, we all concentrated on cleaning the house and doing the mountains of laundry.  By the afternoon, the house was clean, and all was quiet.  The kids were off doing their own thing. 

Now that we are empty nesters, our home is very quiet.  House cleaning can take place any day of the week and the laundry is done when the hampers are full.  Our children are busy in their own family satellites, working hard and taking care of their own lives.  How I cherish those years with a house full of kids but I would not want to go back to that lifestye...that is the life for young people.  Live on, you young'uns and flourish.

Welcoming Kids into Your Family

     Just finished reading the novel, Secret Daughter, by Shilpi Somaya Gowda.  The story takes place in India and the United States and centers on two mothers...a birth mother and an adoptive mother.  Both mothers seem saddened by the birth of a beautiful daughter.  The Indian mother regretted having to give her daughter up for adoption to insure that her daughter would live.  The American mother is saddled by her inability to have children and the many failed pregnancies.

     As a mom of two adopted kids from Korea, I can say that we have been made rich by the experience.  Our kids, a brother and sister, came to us as older kids, aged 10 and 6.  They persevered in a land where the language was new and made their way.  Our house was filled with activity and energy.  Swimming, soccer, camping, picnics, household chores, Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, cooking for a large family...all sources of stress, positive stress.

     When I told my mom that we were going to adopt these kids, she scolded me for paying big money for "throwaway children."  Yes, the amount we paid could have bought an economy compact car in those days but what a wealth of happiness we have gained through the years.  Rather than investing in material things, pets, or transient pleasures, we invested in human lives.  Our kids are now adults and making their way in the world.  How much more happy can parents be? 

   

Buon Natale Christmas Dinner 2010

Every Christmas, we try to have a different theme for the Christmas gathering of our family. We've had an Ohio Christmas complete with succotash, a Southern Christmas with jambalaya, an Israeli Christmas with matzo ball soup and kibbutz salad, a Hawaiian Christmas with homemade laulaus and poi. This year, my bright idea was to have an Italian Christmas dinner.

Of course, the Italians have a Christmas Eve dinner so there is not a lot of red meat in the menu. But I tweaked the menu and served the meal on Christmas day. A friend of mine (who is not Italian) told me that the Italian meal takes about six hours. When she married into a large Italian family, she did not realize that the pasta course was just one of the courses. "Warn your friends and family to pace themselves through the meal," she advised.

So, I published the menu and sent a flow chart to my family members identifying each part of each course, when it would be prepared, who would work on preparing the item, and how it would flow. My hiapo Cathy and her husband worked on games to play between courses. We brought down a croquet set in case some people wanted to work out between courses. Everything all set, we embarked on our Italian adventure.

Preparation started on Thursday as I started the stock for my minestrone and took out all of the serving platters and labeled each with a post-it note on what would go on it.

Friday, my daughter Becky and I started on the various items. This continued on Saturday. We left the house at 11:00 after we loaded our truck with the food, the chairs, the coolers, and the many pots filled with food. This must be the life of a caterer. THE MEAL would begin at 1:00 pm.

And we served:
Antipasti - Appetizer
Plate of salame, mozzarella rolls with salame and proscuetto, muenster, provolone,
and sharp cheddar cheese, Plates of tomatoes with mozzarella sprinkled with Rocking H seasoning, olive oil,and balsamic vinegar; Bowls of olives; Chunks of bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar

Salad Course
Caesar salad with homemade dressing and anchovies on the side; Marinated vegetables with olives (and the most delectable Applewood smoked green olives!!); Chunks of bread with replenished olive oil and balsamic vinegar

Soup Course (People could choose one or the other but many people sampled both)
Homemade minestrone with zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, garganzo beans, and pasta; Cioppino with calamari, mussells, shrimp and scallops, More chunks of bread to sop up the soup.

Pasta Course (People could choose one or the other but many sampled both)
Marinara with garlic and mushrooms on spaghetti or Clam sauce on spaghetti

Entree
Rosemary and balsamic pork loin roast with mango chutney;Grilled salmon with grilled peppers, asparagus, zucchini and yellow squash

Desserts
Panettone;Layered Jello; Cheesecake with a choice of cherry or blueberry topping; Cake; Fudge.

Aperitif
Dessert wine; Coffee; We had a fruit and cheese plate ready to go but people were too full to even look at it.

Red and white wines flowed throughout the meal although the wine drinkers were very few.

The meal ended after 8:00 in the evening and someone said, "Some of the courses were rushed." Hello, we did not want our meal to end at midnight!!

It was fun because we all sat down at several long tables, passed the food around, talked, laughed, ate, drank, and groaned at how full we were until the next course. It seems to be an oxymoron but I did not feel overstuffed as I have felt at some dinners. Perhaps eating throughout seven hours!! gave us time to digest. The effort was well worth the time AND MONEY since we were together, talking and laughing over those many hours.

I would not do this meal any time soon. In analyzing what dishes really worked, I'd say, I liked the bread with oil and balsamic vinegar, the salmon was great, the cioppino was less frightening to make than I had thought, and I loved the Caesar salad with anchovies...what a treat!!

As a cook, it was wonderful to watch people try new food (a cultural exposure for some members of our family), to see some people take seconds and thirds, and to see the family working together to move the meal from course to course. Those are the intrinsic payoffs for working so hard. As for caloric intake...each person has to struggle with their own demons so it's not my problem.

Now, what to cook for next Christmas? By the way, the croquet set never go set up and sits in its brand new plastic bag in the garage. Bon appetito!!